


we're sinking into the sand

by bloodsparks (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Inspired By Tumblr, M/M, Sex Toys, vacation shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 10:18:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12862452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/bloodsparks
Summary: After vacationing by the beach, Dean and Cas realise they've left a 'toy' behind. Hilarity ensues when Cas finds a humorous Facebook post detailing said toy in a ridiculous nature.





	we're sinking into the sand

**Author's Note:**

> i was scrolling down my dash when i saw [https://adifags.tumblr.com/post/167591182741/so-this-appeared-on-my-towns-facebook-page-today] and decided i absolutely needed to write something dumb based on it, so here! have a brainfart on me!
> 
> title from high by the beach by lana del rey just because

Dean realises it's gone when they're halfway across the route back home. 

"Shit," he curses, rummaging more aggressively through the duffel bag in the backseat. "Shit,  _shit,_ fucking  _shit._ " 

Cas, frowning behind the wheel, raises an inquisitive eyebrow at Dean's frantic murmuring. "What is it?" He snaps, trying to keep his gaze on the road despite Dean's shuffling around and blocking parts of his view. 

Dean mumbles something that sounds too foreign to decipher, and Castiel's annoyance increases. "What is it?" He repeats. 

Grumbling and settling back into his seat, Dean huffs frustratedly. He looks uncomfortable, like he doesn't want to explain the situation. It doesn't take much, just a couple more irritated looks from Cas before he explains. 

"Y'know the, uh, the...  _Bag_ , we brought? To the beach?" Dean's voice is tentative. Timid, almost. 

Castiel smirks. Yes, he knows the one. It's a medium-sized black pouch, probably meant to hold toiletries. Inside the inner pocket are a shit ton of condoms: some ridged, some flavoured, and one or two glow in the dark ones. In the main compartment, besides various tubes of lube, are toys. Specifically, toys they'd picked out together on various online shopping excursions. 

Dean shifts in his seat. "I might have left something from said bag, uh, back at the- at the beach."

"Oh," Cas nods. "Like, one of the condoms?" 

Silence answers. 

"Dean?" Cas frowns, looking over. "You didn't leave the entire bag, did you?" It's not that he would've been mad; Cas just didn't think Dean would've been so totally careless with the bag, given that he was so protective of it. 

"Fuck no," Dean laughs guiltily, shaking his head. "Not the entire bag, just... Something from inside it. I think." 

Castiel nods, waiting for further clarification. When it doesn't come, he turns to Dean with a skeptical expression.

"So, you know that fleshlight that we got as a joke that then turned out to not be a joke as much as an actual, functioning toy?"

Cas barks out a laugh as Dean runs a hand through his hair, looking absurdly flustered. 

"Do you know for certain that you left it at the hotel? Maybe it's just- maybe you left it in the duffel, instead of packing it in the toy bag?" 

Dean shakes his head miserably. "It's not in the duffel, I checked. And I don't, uh, think it's at the hotel either." 

Castiel is puzzled for only a second before he realises the implications of their situation. "Oh no," he sighs, looking to Dean with a slightly more worried expression than he'd been keeping. "At the beach?"

Dean winces. "It might be. I think."

The hotel they'd stayed at had a private gate to a remote section of the beach, a revelation that was nothing short of lucrative to them both. Dean's first suggestion had been to fuck on the beach, but Castiel had pointed out that sand, while good for glassmaking, is a horrendous pain to wash out of clothing and the human body.

Dean's second suggestion was to bring blankets and their bag of toys. Cas had to agree; washing sand out of silicon and rubber was definitely going to be easier and less likely to result in a visit to the nearest hospital. So, first chance they got, they brought the bag down to the beach, and had a grand fucking time. 

Sighing, Cas taps his fingers on the steering wheel. They sit in silence for a minute or two, Dean's leg bouncing the whole time. 

"This is going to eat at us the whole drive, isn't it?" Cas eventually says, to which Dean replies with an immediate nod. "Well, there's a stop a couple miles ahead. I'll pull over, we'll check." 

Dean seems to relax a little more after that, and the moment the car stops on the side of the road, he's out of the car and pulling the duffel out onto the trunk to inspect it. Cas follows after switching the indicators on. 

"Is it there?" Despite his slight concern, Castiel's amused smile is barely hidden. 

Dean doesn't answer, just continues shoving his hand grumpily throughout the contents of the bag. Eventually, he stops, withdrawing his arm and looking even more distraught than before. 

Cas only bothers to look once before he shrugs and zips the bag up. "It's not in there," he confirms. When Dean says nothing, Cas shoves his shoulder lightly and leans his chin on his shoulder. "Cheer up," he says softly, kissing the side of Dean's neck and smiling at the little grunt Dean makes despite leaning back into him. 

"Are you really that upset about losing a plastic vagina?" Cas muses with a sharp laugh, taking Dean's hand and squeezing it before they head back to either side of the car. 

 

* * *

 

Two days later, Cas comes howling with laughter to the kitchen while Dean is cooking. 

"Babe," he gasps between laughs, "Babe, fuck, look at this shit."

Dean doesn't have time to respond before he has a phone thrust in his face. On the screen is Cas' Facebook profile, open to a post made by someone Dean doesn't recognise. It's an  _Iain Russell_ , and the post is a picture of the ocean, and... 

Oh, god. 

Blushing, Dean sets the phone down on the kitchen counter and turns back to the stove. He shakes his head, looking at Cas, still doubled over with laughter. "No," Dean groans, shaking his head and locking the phone so he doesn't have to look at [the picture](https://adifags.tumblr.com/post/167591182741/so-this-appeared-on-my-towns-facebook-page-today). 

It doesn't matter, though, because Cas is quick to grab his phone and shove it right back at Dean. "Fucking- Jesus,  _look at it_ , Dean, it's the fucking toy you lost, isn't it?!" 

Dean is too mortified to answer, and Cas' laughter only gets louder. "Oh my god, do you think it'll get washed up somewhere?" 

"I'm tuning you out," Dean declares, face still flushing bright red.

"Imagine taking a romantic stroll on the beach, and fucking having  _that_ wash up right by your feet," Cas continues, shrieking at this point. 

"Out of my kitchen!" Dean turns away from the stove, slapping at Cas and turning him toward the door. "Or no burgers for you tonight. Out, out!" 

"Imagine proposing! And just as you kneel down, the goddamn vagina appears right there!"

Cas is still cackling as he leaves the kitchen. 

Dean doesn't mind. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i'm not even sorry.


End file.
